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Module 1: Power and accountability
Session 1: Exploring power
Session 2: Gender, violence and the man box
Session 3: Gender, Violence, and Thinking Outside the Man Box Part 2
Session 4: Sexuality and Power

Session 2: Gender, Violence, and Thinking Outside the Man Box Part 1

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Session Objectives and Material Needed

Objective
By the end of the session participants will have,

  • Reflected on how gender roles influence the power that men and women have.
  • Increased their understanding of gender norms as something

Materials Needed

  • 2 pieces of flipchart paper taped together for the “man box”
  • 2 pieces of flipchart paper taped together for the “woman box”
  • Markers
  • Lotion or hand cream
  • Note cards or post it note
  • Tape

Key Messages

A gender norm is a collectively held belief about men and women’s roles and responsibilities.

Gender norms reflect how much value is given to men’s roles and how much value is given to women’s roles.

Men and women are not born inside these boxes. Gender norms can and do change with time.

Activities

Activity 1

Welcome and Review (10 minutes)

1. Welcome the participants on the next step of the journey to non-violence and survivors support, with today's discussion focusing on gender and violence.

2. Invite the men to use some of the lotion or hand cream. As they are rubbing the lotion or hand cream into their hands ask them to think about what story their hands tell about who they are? (5 minutes)

3. Ask the men if they have any reflections on anything discussed in the last session.

Activity 2

In and Out of the Box (60 minutes) 

1. Facilitator explains that we are going to start to talk about the behaviours that are expected of men and women, where these expectations come from, and how those expectations impact men and women.

2. Put two pieces of flipchart together and draw a box. Label it the Man Box. Place two more pieces of flipchart paper together and label it Woman Box. The exercise will start with the Man Box conversation.

Discussion questions

Ask “what does it mean to “act like a man” – what are the expectations which may not be the reality. 

How are men expected to be different from women? Write the answers inside the box on the flipchart. Answers may include strong, dominant, confident, independent.

What feelings is a “real man” supposed to have? Write the answers inside the box on the flipchart. Answers may include anger, vexed, annoyance.

How is a “real man” supposed to express or show their feelings? Answers may include through silence, not coming home, yelling, through physical violence.

How are “real men” supposed to act sexually? Answers may include aggressive, forceful, in charge, sleep with many women, have girlfriends even if married.

3. Tell participants that we are going to think about what happens when a man acts differently than expected.

  • What names are men called that act in a way that is seen as “outside the box”. Write these answers outside of the man box.
  • What things happen physically to men outside the box? (write these outside the box and around the box) Fights, beat up, harassed, teased, abused, ignored. Write these answers outside of the man box.

    "Woman Box"
    4. Hang up the flipchart with Woman Box written on it. Place it beside the flipchart with the Man Box answers.
Discussion Questions womens box

How are women expected to be different from men? Write the answers inside the box on the flipchart. Answers may include shy, quiet, weaker, maternal/motherly, likes gossip

What feelings is a woman supposed to have? Write the answers inside the box on the flipchart. Answers may include fear, unsure or uncertain, happy. 

How is a woman supposed to express or show their feelings? Answers may include through crying, sad face, screaming.

How are woman supposed to act sexually? Answers may include, submit to the man, only have sex when married, only have sex with one person.

5. Tell participants that we are going to think about what happens when a woman acts differently then what is expected of her.

  • What names are women called if they act in a way that is seen as “outside the box”. Write these outside the box. Answers many include, dirty, impure, not marriageable, whore, lesbian.
  • What things happen physically to women that act in ways seen as outside the box? (write these outside the box and around the box) gossiped about, beaten, harassed, raped, divorced.
  • Ask the group if women are beaten, harassed, or raped if they stay in the box?
Man Box Part 1 Reflection questions
  1. Where do men and women learn how to act in a way that is seen as appropriate?

  2. How is power showing up in the ideas in the Man Box? How is power showing up in the woman box? Who is seen to have more power and who is seen to have less?
Alternative Activity

Alternative Activity- Depending on Context: Figure of a Man

1. Make up a life sized figure of a man. This can be made up of clothes stuffed with something and sat in a chair. Or it can be a life size drawing of a man that hangs on the wall. The figure or drawing is meant to represent men in general. Encourage the group to give the man a name.

2. Ask participants to write on the note cards what they think are traditional characteristics that are associated with masculinity. Encourage them to write as many as come to mind but ask that they use a different note card for each character. Ask participants to tape the cards on the “man.”

3. After about 10 minutes ask participants to bring their chairs and form a circle around the “man.” Ask them to take a few minutes to read all of the notecards. Once the participants have had a minute to see all of the things written on the note card start to discuss what each note card says.

4. Once most of the note cards have been discussed ask the men in the group to reflect and discuss the following questions.

• How did you learn to be a man?
• What did you have to do to be a man
• What characteristics did you have to have to be a man?
• What things did you hear about being a man when you were growing up?

Activity 3

Closing / debrief (15 minutes)

1. Facilitator closes the discussion by sharing,

  • A gender norm is a collectively held belief about men and women’s roles and responsibilities.
  • Gender norms are not biological. For example, men are not born with more power than women but society’s beliefs about men and women’s role and responsibilities assign more power to one than the other.
  • Gender norms can and do change with time.
    Note that women experience violence even when they stay within the box and that we will discuss this more in the next session.

    2. Ask the participants to think about the following question over the next week, “where did I learn my beliefs about what is means to be a man?”

    3. Thank the participants for their active participation and for starting the journey and remind them when and where the next session will take place