Session 5:More than a Fist: A Deeper Look at Violence against Women and Girls.

Welcome and Review (15 minutes)

1. Welcome the participants on the next step of the journey to non-violence and survivors support, with today's discussion focusing on violence against women and girls.

2. Ask the men to stand up and join you in taking deep breaths to help clear everyone’s mind. Facilitator should model breathing in deeply and exhaling completely. Ask participants to do this for 5 minutes.

3. Invite participants to sit. Ask participants to share if there is anything that they’ve been thinking about or reflecting on related to what we discussed in the last session?

4. Invite participants to look at the flipchart from the introduction session. Ask participants if they feel the discussions and conversations are what they expected. Do they feel they are getting out of the sessions what they had hoped?

1. Facilitator shares with participants that over the last four sessions we have talked about power, entitlement, gender and gender roles, and sexual entitlement. Explain that the group is going to spend the next three session discussing different type of violence with a focus on violence against women and girls and the impact and consequences of violence on the survivor, her family and community.

2. Facilitator shares with participants that it is likely that everyone in the group has experienced or witnessed some form of violence, either during the unrest in their own countries or when they fled their country seeking safety. Note that many people in the group may have witnessed violence in their family growing up.

3. Facilitator acknowledges that while we focus today’s conversation on men’s violence against women and girls, we know that anyone can be a survivor of certain types of violence. Sexual violence can and does happen to men. Like sexual violence against women and girls, this sexual violence is most often perpetrated by men against other men. There are men who are survivors of sexual violence. Every survivor of sexual violence, of any sex or any gender, deserve to be supported. Emphasise that at the end of the session the facilitator will put the name and contact information of organisations that specialise in supporting survivors up on a flip chart.

4. Facilitator hangs up a flip chart with the word VIOLENCE written on it. Invite participants to take some of the notecards and write down what comes to mind when they think of violence. Ask them to tape up the notecards on the flip chart.

5. Once participants are done putting the notecards on the flipchart ask for volunteers to comment on what they are noticing about the notecards. If the majority of the responses focus on physical types of violence facilitator should note that to the participants.

6. Encourage participants to think specifically about men’s violence against women. Ask participants if they think that violence is only physical.

Facilitator shares that violence can include:

• Physical (hurts the body)
• Emotional (includes verbal abuse, hurts the feelings, confidence, mind)
• Sexual (physical injury, emotional, confidence,)
• Economic (controls access to money, property, or resources)
• Harmful Practices (such as child early marriage and forced unions)

Agree, Disagree, Not Sure.

1. Facilitator ask all the participants to stand up. Facilitator explains the activity, sharing that he/she is going to read some different things out loud to the group. If they think what he/she has read is an example of violence go to the ‘Agree’ sign. If you ‘Disagree’ stand by that sign and if you an “Not Sure” move to the middle of the room.

2. Facilitator should emphasise no one in the group will be judged for their answers. This activity is to help participants reflect on what they think violence is and what they think violence is not. Note that participants will have different ideas about violence and this group is a space where those different views can be shared and discussed. After each statement is read out loud give participants a chance to share why they went to Agree, Disagree or Not Sure.

3. Facilitator shoule highlight that Interpersonal Violence, forcing a girl to marry (child early marriage and forced unions), and forcing someone to have sex are all forms of violence. All the examples above are examples of violence.

4. Explain that violence can be a onetime incident or ongoing. In cases of Intimate Partner Violence, it is usually ongoing in that it happens more than once. Emphasise that violence will have lasting consequences that can’t be seen. Once violence is used the threat of more violence is always there.

5. Share with participants that in situations of forced displacement, political unrest, and war these types of violence become even more common for women and girls. Ask participants why they think that is? Why might violence against women and girls increase in refugee and displaced settings?

Small Group Conversation followed by facilitated group conversation

1. Divide participants into three small groups and assign one type of violence IPV, Early/Forced Marriage and Sexual Violence to each group.

2. Ask each group to take 15 minutes to discuss what they think the consequences are on the person experiencing that violence. For example, what is the potential impact on a 13-year-old girl being married to a 30-year-old man? What is the impact on a woman whose husband is hitting her in the home? What is the impact on a women or girl that has been sexually assaulted while fleeing her country for safety?

3. When the participants are finished, ask each group to share their ideas to the others. After all the groups present, the facilitator should make sure that all the impacts not mentioned (health, psychosocial, stigma, financial etc) are highlighted.

4. Ask participants if any of these impacts surprised them? Had they thought about the impact of these things on the women and girls experiencing them in this way before? How do they feel now that they’ve had a chance to think more about the impact that violence has on women and girls?

Scenario and Disucssion

The facilitator should start with a short scenario.

1. Ask participants why Juan was late for work. Keep participants focused on the choices that Juan made and the main reason he was late for work.

For example

• Do you agree with Juan’s reasoning that being late wasn’t his fault? Why or why not? Juan knew when the lorry would arrive.
• Was it the first lorry’s driver’s fault that he was late for work? If you were Juan’s boss, would you hold the lorry driver or Juan accountable for being late to work? Why?
• Ask participants if there were choices Juan made that contributed to his being late but were not the main reason for his lateness.
  
  

2. Facilitator reminds participants that we have talked about the root cause of violence against women and girls in other sessions. Ask the group what they remember about the root causes of violence against women and girls. Facilitator should note that like in the scenario above, it is common for men and communities to blame violence on something other than unequal gender norms or the misuse of power. There are things in the lives of men that cause or increase stress, but it is an individual choice to use violence as a way of dealing with that stress

3. Facilitator notes that there are many things, especially in situations of forced displacement that can add additional stress or frustration in a person’s life. Note that individuals choose how to respond in different situations and that, no matter what, a violent response is never acceptable. No one can “make” another person be violent.

Ask vs Tell     

1. Facilitator asks the group the question below:

Men love their families. Men love their wives and daughters.  When you think about the impacts of violence above and how it affects women and girls why do you think men’s violence against women happens?   

2. Lead a discussion with the group about VAWG based on the above question. Make sure to emphasize the following points and link back to the key points in the sessions about gender and power throughout the discussion: 

• Men’s violence against women and girls happens in every country.
• It is a violation of a person’s human rights including the right to be safe in their home and in their community.
• Men are most often the perpetrators of all the different forms of VAWG
• VAWG occurs because of harmful beliefs⁵ and attitudes about men and women (connect to session including the man box and gender roles and gender socialization), including:

1. Women are seen to be less than men and the property of men
2. Men have the right to control the lives of women
3. Men have the right to make all the decisions for the family including when and who their daughters marry.

• If a man chooses to be violent against his wife, she did something to “deserve it”. Violence is seen as a way to teach women a lesson and discipline them.   
• VAWG is a way of reinforcing and demonstrating male power and control. women.
• Violence does not just happen it is intentional.
• VAWG occurs because we live in a world that says it is ok for men to harm women.  It is up to men, like many of you in this group, to show through your words and your actions that violence against women and girls is never an acceptable choice.

Closing/debrief (15 minutes)

1. Facilitator closes the discussion by asking each participant to share a word or a comment about the session. Was it interesting? Challenging? Thought provoking?

• Violence includes more than physical beating. It includes physical (hurts the body), emotional (includes verbal abuse, hurts the feelings, confidence, mind), sexual (physical injury, emotional, confidence) economic (controls access to money, property, or resources)
• There is health, emotional, social, and financial consequences for survivors, children, and communities.
  
  

2. Thank the participants for their active participation and for starting the journey and remind them when and where the next session will take place.