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Module 3: Safe and Supportive Homes and Communities
Session 8: Supporting Survivors Part I
Session 9: Supporting Survivors Part II
Session 10:Becoming an Ally in and out of the Home
Session 11: Closing Session

Session 8: Supporting Survivors Part I

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Session Objectives and Material Needed

Objective
By the end of the session participants will be able to

  • Name some of the beliefs they have about survivors.
  • Reflect on where their beliefs about survivors comes from.
  • Discuss how those beliefs could be harmful or helpful to survivors
  • Start to discuss different ways to support a survivor. 

Materials Needed

  • Flipchart paper
  • Markers

Key messages

Believing survivors, supporting their decisions, and not blaming them for the violence are important ways for men to support survivors. 

Survivors have the right to decide who and when to tell people about the violence they suffered.

Blame and stigma harm survivors and stop them from getting the help they need.  Men have a responsibility to speak out about the harm that blame and stigma cause survivors.

 Activities 

Activity 1

Welcome and Review (15 minutes)

1. Welcome the participants on the next step of the journey to non-violence and survivors support, with today's discussion focusing on supporting survivors

2. Ask participants if they have talked about any of the topics discussed in the group with their wives or partners. Ask to hear from participants 1) for those that have talked about this at home ask why? 2) for those that have not talked about it at home ask why or why not?

3. Ask participants that have talked to the wives or partners how the conversations have felt?  Was it easy to talk about?  Did it feel difficult to discuss? 

Activity 2

Self Reflection on the beliefs they hold about survivors (10 minutes)

  1. Facilitator should note that anyone can be a survivor of sexual and physical violence. All survivors of sexual and physical violence deserve to receive compassionate and timely care.  Global, regional, and country level research shows that women and girls are disproportionately impacted by violence, especially in refugee and displaced settings. 

  2. Introduce the topic for discussion. Specifically, that tosay the men will be exploring and talking about the beliefs they have about survivors and where those beliefs came from.

  3. Facilitator should write the 3 questions below on a flipchart. Read the questions out loud to the group and ask the men to spending 5 minutes thinking about the questions. 
  • What beliefs do I hold about survivors?
  • Where did I learn the beliefs, I have about survivors?
  • Do the beliefs I have about survivors feel helpful or harmful

   

4. Facilitator gives participants 5 minutes of reflection time.  After 5 minutes let participants know they will have a chance to share their reflections later in the session.

Activity 3

  Exploring the consequences of sexual and physical violence through scenarios (45 minute)

  1. Facilitator explains that we are going to break into groups to discuss two scenarios. Make sure to link the discussion around this story to the prior session on consequences of violence and to the underlying causes of violence (gender socialization and power differences).
Sariaha’s Story

Sariaha’s Story

In May 2020 the government set restrictions on travel because of COVID-19. Only essential workers could travel. Sariaha was a nurse working the late-night shift.  After getting off work she rode the bus but still had to walk 3 kilometres to her home.  She was so tired from working she did not notice two men following her until they started trying to talk to her. They said they knew women from her country were all prostitutes and that she should have sex with them. She started to run but they pulled her into an alley. Both men forced Sariaha to have sex, punching her whenever she tried to scream.  At one point she was hit so hard she lost consciousness.  When she woke up the men were gone, and it was very late. Her husband was waiting for her when she got home.  When she told him, what happened he started to yell, telling her she never should have been out so late and that now the neighbours would gossip about their family.  He said that Sariaha would not report this to the police or go to the health clinic for treatment.

Maria’s story

Maria’s story

 In March 2020, Maria went to work very early in the morning. So early it was still dark outside. Not many people were out because of the COVID-19 restrictions. Maria’s family didn’t have money for public transport, so she walked the 10 kilometres to her job.The baby had been up sick all night and she hadn’t gotten much sleep. She was so tired that she didn’t notice the man on walking behind her until he had grabbed her.  He said that she was beautiful, and she should be his girlfriend. She said she was married and tried to pull away.  He pushed her behind a car and raped her. When he was finished, he laughed and threw a few coins at her, ‘for her service.’ Maria was bleeding and sore and knew she could not work. She walked home and told her husband what had happened.  He told her he was sorry this happened to her and it wasn’t her fault. He asked if she wanted to report it to the police or to go to the clinic. They didn’t have much money but maybe he could ask his brother to help.

  1. Use the guiding questions below for the group work and group discussion
  • What were some of the visible consequences of the rape on Saraiah and Maria? What might be some invisible or less visible consequences? 
  • What were some of the things happening in the first scenario that prevented Saraiah from getting help and could actually cause her more harm? What beliefs did her husband have?  Do you think these are common? 
  • What were some of the things happening in the second scenario that allowed Maria to get help? Could these things contribute to Maria not suffering any further harm? How?   
  • Should the husband of Maria have asked her if she wanted to report? If yes/no, why? Is it her choice or the choice of her husband/family?
  1. After discussing the questions above ask participants to reflect on how they feel when they read these scenarios.
Activity 4

Moderated Discussion:  What is stigma and how does it cause harm to survivors?

  1. Take men back to the three questions about beliefs you started the group with (activity 1)

  2. Ask men to share with the group some of the reflections they had about the 3 questions we started the session with,
  • What beliefs do I hold about survivors?
  • Where did I learn the beliefs I have about survivors?
  • Why are survivors blamed for violence that is done to them by another person?
  1. Ask men, why it is important that Survivors have the right to decide who and when to tell people about the violence they suffered?
  2. Ask why it is important to believe survivors, support their decisions and not blaming them for the violence?
Activity 5

Closing/ Debrief: (15 minutes)

1. Facilitator closes the discussion by asking each participant to share any reflection on the group work looking at the impact and consequences of violence against women and girls. Ask if there were things that felt difficult in the conversation.

  • Survivors will have different needs related to the health, emotional, social, and financial consequences from the violence they suffered.
  • Children are impacted by witnessing violence even if they themselves are not abused.
  • Women and children who have suffered violence are NEVER to blame for the violence
  • Men have a key role to play in supporting survivors.

2.Thank the participants for their active participation and for starting the journey and remind them when and where the next session will take place.