Facilitation

The Role of the Facilitator

A facilitator plays multiple roles within the group – e.g. a learner, a moderator, a guide, a motivator, and a role model.

The main role of the facilitator is to enable the group to work together, as they examine the issue of unequal distribution of power, and its link with violence against women and girls.

The facilitator must be able to skillfully navigate and moderate discussions on these sensitive topics, create space for the participants to process them and hold participants accountable for words and actions that condone, justify or minimise violence against women and girls.

It is important for the facilitator to see themselves as a learner, to adopt a learning attitude. The facilitator must recognise that all the participants have their own experience and knowledge. In order to make the content as relevant and relatable as possible, the facilitator should be as comfortable asking questions as giving answers.

When asking questions, the facilitator should ensure that every participant has an opportunity to have their voice heard. There will always be group members that are more comfortable stepping up than stepping back.

To avoid 2-3 group members taking up the most time in the group, the facilitators should use the techniques shared below, under facilitators’ skills and encouraging participation.

The facilitator is also a guide in the participants process of reflection and personal discovery.

With sensitive and challenging content, discussions should be moderated and guided towards conclusions, without rushing the participants. Some participants may need more time to open up and confront their male privilege, power, and its role in perpetuating violence against women and girls. In guiding the group, the goal is to foster critical examination of these concepts, that leads to commitment to reducing violence, risk and engaging in accountable actions. The facilitator should be patient, open, approachable, and should not use NGO jargon. Use words and phrases that best fit the context.

Preparing for Each Session

Before each session, the facilitator should review the entire session outline at least twice to make sure they understand the content and suggested activities.

They should also look at the time in the curriculum suggested for each of the activities. By the third session, facilitators should have an idea, based on their experience with the group, if the time allocated for the activities will work for that group.

Facilitators should be prepared with the listed materials for each session. Even with most preparations, things can, and often do, go differently than planned. That’s OK, as good facilitation requires flexibility.

The more facilitators are familiar with the Common Resistance Responses and with the steps involved in Techniques for Dealing with Challenging Moments, the easier it will be to deal with the unexpected happening in a session.

Tips for creating a safe and trusting learning environment

Facilitating men’s dialogue groups where the topic is men’s use of violence against women and girls and supporting survivors is challenging for several reasons.

First, many men are not raised to see violence against women and girls as a priority in their own lives and may not initially see the benefit in investing their time in reducing risk of or preventing violence.

Second, patriarchy is a deeply entrenched system of oppression that is perpetuation through a certain type of learning and socialisation. Unlearning the gendered norms related to VAWG is uncomfortable. It requires confronting who has power, how that power is used, and moving towards more equitable sharing of power between men and women. Men can perceive this as losing control, adopting ‘western ways’ or not in their best interests.

Things to note as a facilitator

Good Facilitation

Good facilitation, done by well-trained staff is the single most important part of successfully implementing this intervention. All staff facilitating men’s dialogue groups must be able to demonstrate

a clear understanding of the drivers of violence against women and girls,
what makes VAWG ‘gender-based’ i.e. how socially constructed gender roles relate to VAWG,
the consequences of VAWG on the survivor, and
the local referral mechanisms

The role of the facilitator is to create an environment where group members openly share ideas, identify their beliefs, and reflect on how those beliefs help or harm women, girls and survivors, speak truthfully, and to hold other group members accountable.

This intervention is not about training or ‘teaching’ men to be non-violent. The evidence is clear you cannot stop GBV by training men or teaching them about human rights. Rather, you need to create conditions whereby men can unlearn the harmful beliefs related to violence against women and girls

Facilitation Not Teaching

It is important for implementers to remember what facilitation is and how it differs from teaching.

While a teacher may impart knowledge to their students, a facilitator empowers and enables a group to reach conclusions.

Teaching is generally one way – the person standing at the front of the room provides all the information and answers.

Facilitation on the other hand is a process that must be participatory, engaging, and inter-active to be impactful. More importantly, learning is happening in multiple directions – from the facilitator to the group, between the group members, and from the group to the facilitator.

The facilitator sees the participants as fellow travelers on the journey rather than students.

Common Resistance Responses

Facilitators should be prepared to manage Common Resistance Responses from group participants.

These include

Denial,
Minimising
Justifying
Victim blaming
Competitive victimhood
Remaining silent
Collusion.

They allow men to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions or for holding other men accountable for their actions. These common resistance responses are learned and used to reinforce harmful norms. Because they are learned they can be unlearned, and the groups are the right place for the unlearning to start.

Common Resistance Responses

Denial: Asserting that something is not true or not a problem

“My wife has never complained about how I treat her”
“This is part of our culture; violence is a normal part of any relationship”
“My children are not afraid of me.”
I do not know where she got the bruises on her face, she must have fallen”

Minimising: Making something smaller or less serious than it is

“All I did was pulled her hair”
“I did not even use my fist it was just a slap”
“She knows I was joking when I called her those names”
“Other men would have beat her, all I did was push her down.”

Justification: Stating that something is right or reasonable

“This is how my father kept order in the house.”
“She deserved it”
“It could have been a lot worse.”

Victim Blaming: Stating or implying that the victim is at fault for the violence that she experienced

“She knows I am under a lot of stress. She should not have argued with me.”
“When I say I want something done a certain way she should know I am serious. If she had listened to her husband, this wouldn’t have happened”
“She asked for it by going out with her friends instead of staying at home with me”
“She provoked me by yelling, it was only after she raised her voice that I punched her”

Comparing victimhood: Changing the focus of the discussion/situation by stating that another group also experiences the same problem

“Both men and women are victims of violence – why is it always about women?”
“My wife has slapped me before”
Women can be abusive to men too”

Remaining silent: Choosing to keep quiet or not speak up in the face of an injustice or problematic act

Not speaking up when violence/disrespect occurs
Ignoring something or pretending you didn’t notice

Colluding: Men supporting harmful beliefs and attitudes of other men

Agreeing with any of the above responses – by verbal expression or silence
Believing or supporting excuses and justifications for violence
Laughing at harmful attitudes and beliefs that other men express

Key Facilitator skills

There are several skills that facilitators need to fill their multiple roles and guide the group process of change.

Building connection with the group
Ensuring equal participation
Stay Engaged and Attentive to Group Energy
Communication skill
Listening Skills
Group management
Conflict Management

Empathy

Building connection with the group

Building a sense of trust and connection will help participant feel comfortable and encourage participation.

To start building connection the facilitator should introduce themselves and share a short personal reflection on why he is involved in this kind of work and why it is important to him.

Ensuring equal participation

In every group, there will be more active and extroverted participants, and those who are less active and may feel shy.

Th facilitator should not demand contributions from everyone from the start.

Quieter participants might need more time to engage. But the facilitator should constantly encourage participation and not always call on the first person that offers to speak.

Stay Engaged and Attentive to Group Energy

The facilitators should make sure they are engaged throughout the whole session. Even when the participants are busy for example in group work, the facilitator can be attentive, walk around the room, ensure that everyone participates, be available and approachable for potential questions.

At all times, the facilitator should be attentive to the atmosphere in the room and respond to it. If he sees the level of engagement and energy lower, he can consider an energizer or a break

Communication Skills

Communication is a critical skill for a facilitator.

Communication is a two-way process, and in the context of this intervention this involves expressing oneself clearly on the one hand and listening activelyto the participants on the other.

Language should take into account participants’ mother tongue, their literacy levels, and familiarity with the subject matter.

In the contexts with high levels of illiteracy, additional attention should be paid to using words that resonate with the participants.

Leave time at the end of an activity to ask, whether they have any questions or comments

It is also useful to ask for a volunteer to recap a discussion – they will likely use their own words, and the facilitator can assess whether the objective was fulfilled.

During the sessions, the facilitator must also ensure that no derogatory language that perpetuates unequal power relations is used. This includes terms and phrases that:

- Insinuate blame on the part of the survivor,
- Harmful labels
- Discriminatory statements discrediting women, girls, or minority groups.

If a participant employs such communication, it is the facilitator’s role to remind them of the group agreements and ask the group for, or offer himself, an appropriate term.

In some conservative cultures, people often prefer euphemisms to talk about sensitive topics, such as VAWG.

A euphemism is a vague word or phrase to describe something taboo, offensive, or something that might be inappropriate to express directly. In such context, people may be uncomfortable or even offended when direct terms are used. For example,

- In Rohingya language, commonly used terms include “bodmashi goron (‘being villainous’), beizzot goron (‘being dishonored’), daag (‘stain’), bolazuri zulum (‘forced oppression’).”

The facilitator should be familiar with such terms in their context.

Listening Skills

For a facilitator, listening actively is equally important as expressing himself/herself clearly.

Many of the activities in the curriculum involve asking questions – all the group work activities, moderated discussions, and think-pair-share.

It is important that the participants understand the questions – if they do not, the facilitator can restate or rephrase it until they do.

It is perfectly fine for the facilitator to ask for clarification, if he does not understand a point a participant is making.

COMMON LISTENING TECHNIQUES

Mirroring involves repeating what the other person said verbally, using their own words. This shows that you have been listening, helps establish trust, and demonstrates neutrality.

Paraphrasing involves repeating what the other person said in the facilitator’s own words in a non-judgmental manner. It shows that the facilitator understands (or wants to understand) exactly what the participant communicates and validates what they are saying. Some phrases that can be used include: “If I understand you correctly …,” “What I hear you saying is …,” “Is that what you mean?,” “Did I understand you correctly?”

Tracking can be used if the discussion is going in multiple directions at once. It helps if the facilitator takes a step back, summarises these threads and acknowledges that they are valid. For example, the facilitator can say: “It sounds like we have several smaller discussions going on. Let me make sure I track them all. …,” followed by summarizing or paraphrasing the discussion threads.

Asking open ended questions is a keyway to promote critical thinking and analysis of someone’s beliefs and attitudes. Asking such questions helps the facilitator maintain learning attitude and allows the respondents to formulate in depth opinions and arguments

The Ask vs Tell technique of asking questions is a way to participants to think more critically about cause and effect. It can help go beyond superficial understanding of an issue or the problem with the facilitator asking “Why?” up to five times. See the sample dialogue below

Examples:

Participants’ understanding:	Did I ask the question clearly? Did I make this task clear to all? Does anyone have any questions, comments, or would like to add anything? Would anyone like to sum up the main points of this discussion?
Active listening:	If I understand you correctly, you are saying that… What I hear you saying is … Did I understand you correctly? I am not sure I fully understand, can you please explain … a little more?
Open ended questions:	What do you think about ...? What do you notice about …? How do you think it happened? What was happening in your body when you watched the role play?

Ask vs Tell: Sample dialogue using the 5 Whys technique

The facilitator: “Why did the violence occurred in this case?”

The participant: “The husband was experiencing a lot of stress because of the displacement and because he lost his job. He was worried about his family’s future.”

The facilitator: “Why did the stress lead to this incidence of violence against his wife?”

The participant: “He didn’t know how else to deal with the stress. She made him angry by disobeying him.”

The facilitator: “Other people deal with anger differently. Why did he attack his wife when he was angry?”

The participant: “He needed a release of his anger and he thought she deserved it.”

The facilitator: “Why did he think that she deserved it?”

The participant: “Because he thought he can control her and has the right to beat her when she disobeys.”

The facilitator: “Why did he think he has the right to beat her?”

The participant: “He thinks he has power over her and can do what he wants to her.”

Group Management

Each group has its own unique dynamic shaped by the members’ interactions and relations. The facilitator works to create an inclusive and participatory environment where all the members are involved and engaged.

Group Agreements:
The group agreements, established during the first session, provide a clear structure and can be helpful throughout the intervention.

If someone does break a group agreement, the facilitator should use the group to encourage accountability to the agreed upon group agreements.

Challeging Participants

Almost every group has participants that can be considered more “difficult” than others. For example, people who are argumentative, challenging, questioning, and confronting what is being said; or ones that dominate every activity and are typically at the centre of attention; or ones who often have side conversations which disrupts other participants; or ones that are passive and refuse to participate actively.

There are several ways to deal with such behaviours.

The facilitators should be comfortable to handle such interactions with empathy and assertiveness. While a facilitator can get frustrated at such behaviours, it is important that they do not act disrespectfully or offensively.

Some sample scripts to use when there is a conflict, or a difficult participant are below.

Time Management

Finally, an important part of group management is time management. The curriculum includes times for all activities, but they can take longer depending on the group process and dynamic. The agenda can be a helpful tool to stay on track – when there is a prolonged inconsequential discussion, the facilitator can point the participants to the agenda and ask to move on.

Group management sample scripts:

Thank you for your contribution. I would also like to hear other participant’s opinions and perspective.
We will have to wrap up this activity, we are past the agenda time frame.
Let me wrap up what you said. If I understand you correctly, … Would anyone else like to add to that?
I hear what you are saying, but I am not sure how it relates to our current activity. Can you please explain that? If it doesn’t, can we get back to the topic and get back to this after the session?
Sounds like we are having trouble coming to a joint decision. Can we come back to this discussion later and move on now?
Perhaps people who haven’t spoken much have something to add?
This is something we will be discussing at a later session. Can we please now stay on the topic of the current activity?
I understand your point of view. It seems like you often express negative opinions. Do you know why that is?
Please let us stick to the group agreements. The important one was to not use derogatory or discriminatory language. What is an alternative appropriate term for the one you just used?

Conflict Management

Sometimes during the facilitation process, a conflict between participants will arise.

Participants may have a difference of opinions, interests, or values.

It is important for the facilitator to acknowledge the conflict rather than ignore it.

A conflict may escalate and negatively affect the group dynamic if it is not dealt with. Some conflicts can be resolved after a brief discussion between the participants – in which case the facilitator must only ensure that group agreements are followed.

If there seems to be no resolution, the facilitator can intervene.

When managing a conflict, the facilitator should remain neutral and be approachable.

Open and honest communication will help resolve conflict. If needed, he can remind the participants of both the group agreements that they committed to and the criteria for selection in the intervention. That includes being respectful and open to new or different ideas.

In case of personal attacks, the facilitator must intervene and ensure that the space remains safe for everyone. The facilitator should avoid arguing, blaming, or confronting the participants, e.g. stating that they are angry.

To find out the point of disagreement, it is useful to ask questions and listen actively to the responses.

It is often a good idea to let people express their feelings first. When they feel heard and validated, they are more likely to move forward to identifying solutions. This also should be done by asking questions, as participants are more likely to accept a solution if it comes from the group rather than the facilitator.

It is helpful to find out people’s assumptions that may drive the conflict. Asking the participants for mutual understanding can help, once the emotions have been released.

Another technique is to ask the conflicting participants to present their own point of view in their words. The rest of the group can ask questions, so everyone has a clear understanding of their viewpoint.

The other conflict party can then do the same. When the facilitator has a good understanding of the conflict, he can recap it and help the sides reach a solution, or alternatively moderate a discussion with the other group members in search of resolution. Sometimes a solution will require a compromise on one or both sides.

If it seems like the conflict is at a stalemate, the facilitator can ask the participants to get back on track, and to get back to the conflict on the next session. He can ask the participants to take some time to think about possible solutions.

If a conflict has escalated and it is impossible to continue with the session, the facilitator can announce a 10 minutes break. This can give the participants an opportunity to calm down, rethink their position, and re-evaluate whether they want to continue the conflict.

Sample conflict resolution questions:

Can you tell us why you feel this way?
Can you tell us why this is what you want?
What do you need to resolve this issue?
What would make things better for you?
Are you able to accommodate some of the things the other person is requesting?

Empathy

Empathy is the ability to put oneself in someone else’s situation, acknowledge and understand the feelings they have around that situation, and the ability to communicate this understanding back to that person.

Empathy is an important skill in general – for the participants – and a particularly important skill during group facilitation. Because facilitation is a two-way process, in which the facilitator strives to understand the participants’ perspectives, it is advisable to develop it.

Expressing empathy can help people feel validated, heard, and understood.

The curriculum covers the constructions of masculinity that restrict expression of certain emotions. The sessions are a good opportunity for the participants to exercise empathy by putting themselves in “other people’s shoes” and develop their own empathy along the way.

Empathy can help especially when the facilitator deals with participants whose views or behaviours seem unreasonable, illogical, or emotional.

To develop empathy, we can listen attentively and pay full attention to what the other person is saying.

Keeping an open mind (rather than assuming things or thinking about what our response might be) helps to accurately hear what they say. When we understand why people believe certain things, we can acknowledge it. It does not necessarily mean we have to agree with it, but that we understand their perspective.

Empathy questions:

How did you feel during this activity?
How do you think others felt during this activity?
How do you feel about this problem, issue, or situation?
How do you think the person in the story felt?
How would you feel if you were in this situation?
Why do you think this person behaved that way?
How do you think what happened affected this person?

Do you understand this person’s perspective?

Encouraging participation

Several methodologies are used in the curriculum to encourage participation and to give participants the opportunity to get to engage with different group members. This includes pair or small group discussion, role plays, or whole group discussions.

Pair Work

Both pair work and group work are suitable for tasks that require reflection and discussion. Pair work involves pairing the participants with each other and giving them a task to work on and complete jointly.

This method fosters dialogue, collaboration, cooperation, and enhances communication skills. It changes the energy of the session and is an opportunity to get to know other group members better.

Steps in conducting pair work

The facilitator explains the task and demonstrates or gives an example of expected output.
The facilitator asks the participants to count to 3-4 one by one – depending on the size of the whole group- in order to form pairs
Once the pairs are formed, the facilitator gives them a minute to assign roles.
The facilitators give the pairs a clear time limit.
The facilitator walks around the room and ensures the pairs are actively working on their tasks, and that no participants are marginalised in the process.
The facilitator asks the pairs to present their points, one by one.The pairs should not repeat points that were already made by previous pairs.

Sample pair work questions

Did I make myself clear about the task?
Should I give you an example of what is expected?
I see that in your pair, you are the only one talking. I encourage your partner to also contribute. Is there something you would like to add?
Time will be up in two minutes. Will all pairs be ready in two minutes?
It’s getting loud in here. Can we please keep the noise down a bit so everyone can work comfortably?

Group Work

Group work is similar to pair work, the difference being the group size. It enhances even more communication and collaboration skills as there are more partners in the group, more roles, and more perspectives that must be considered. As such, it can also strengthen participants’ social and interpersonal skills.

Steps for effective group work

The facilitator explains the task and demonstrates or gives an example of expected output.
The facilitator asks the participants to count to 3-4 one by one, depending on the size of the whole group and the groups to be formed. An optimal group size is 4-5 participants
Once the groups are formed, the facilitator gives them a minute to assign roles. In larger groups, there are more roles. Possible roles include note taker (for literate participants), facilitator who makes sure everyone in the group contributes, presenter, timekeeper
The facilitators give the groups a clear time limit. Groups may need more time than pairs, as there are more voices to consider.
The facilitator walks around the room and ensures groups are actively working on their tasks, and that no participants are marginalised in the process.
The facilitator asks the presenters to present their points, one by one. The presenters should not repeat points that were already made by previous groups.

Think, Pair, Share

Think Pair Share, in addition to enhancing social and communication skills, promotes individual critical thinking and reflection. The participants first formulate their own ideas or opinions on a given topic, before sharing it with their peer and hearing his, and then with the whole group.

To use Think Pair Share, the facilitator should follow the steps below.

Explain the method: that the participants will first think for two minutes about a given topic or question, followed by five minutes to share their opinions or ideas with a peer sitting next to them, and then share and discuss with the whole group.
The facilitator asks an open-ended question or assigns the task. He makes sure everyone understands what they are supposed to explore or examine.
The facilitator starts and keeps the time. The first two minutes of thinking should be silent. If it helps, the participants can close their eyes for this part.
After two minutes, the facilitator asks the participants to share their thinking with a peer next to them. If there is an odd number of participants, the facilitator can pair with one. If he is free, he walks around the room and makes sure the discussions are participatory, i.e. that one pair member does not dominate the dialogue. It is supposed to be an exchange of ideas. He keeps the time – five minutes for discussions in pairs.
After five minutes, the facilitator asks the pairs to present their thinking and moderates a group discussion.

Role Play

Role play is another interactive method that brings variety and is useful for tactile learners.

It builds participants confidence and public speaking and presentation skills and is often fun. It also gives quieter participants an avenue to express themselves.

Role play should concern relatable and realistic hypothetical scenarios. During the debrief, the facilitator can ask the audience and actors about the power dynamics in the scene, whether they would change anything in the scene, etc.

Role play can prepare the participants for real life scenarios – how to lead dialogues with peers and community members on the sensitive topics of the curriculum. They can also enhance empathy when a different point of view is presented by a character.

To successfully use role play, the facilitators should follow the steps below

Explain the method: the participants will volunteer to participate in the role play and will have roles in the scene assigned. They will then collaborate with the other volunteers for 15 minutes to prepare the scene. Participants who do not take part in the role play will be the audience and can think of the scene and what arguments they would use if they were some of the characters.
The facilitator asks for the volunteers. Once they are selected, he assigns roles and explains the scene scenario. He ensures that the volunteers are comfortable with their roles and that the group understands the scenario.
The volunteers sit together and discuss the scene – the dialogue, the sequence of events, the available props they might want to use. This is the creative process which can get chaotic and messy, and that’s OK, if the group agreements are followed. The facilitator can help ensure that each character gets time to say their role.
After 15 minutes, the facilitator invites the volunteers to “the stage” - the middle of the room. The audience sits in the back or around the scene.
The volunteers play out the scene. At this stage the audience is silent.
During the 10 minutes debrief, the facilitator can ask about how people felt about their roles, whether anyone’s perspective has changed, and the power dynamics within the scene. The audience can contribute their opinions on what in the scene could have been done differently or more effectively.

Sample role play debriefing questions

How did it feel to be in that role?
What are some of the things you felt watching the scene?
Are there any issues that could be added or considered in the scene?
In your opinion what points were the most important in the scene?
Was anything in the scene surprising?
Has anyone had similar situations in their life? How did it go? (If they want to share.)
We talk a lot about power. What was the power dynamic in the scene? Who spoke more? Whose opinions were heard and valued? Was anyone marginalised?

Ask vs Share

Ask vs share is a method of reaching goals and conclusions by asking questions.

The facilitator does not share their knowledge, and instead he asks the participants purposeful questions that help them reach a conclusion. This keeps the participants engaged and energised, and provides ownership over the reached conclusion, as the participants arrived at it themselves instead of being told. It also enhances critical thinking skills.

To use ask vs tell method, the facilitator should follow the instruction below

Make sure your questions are clear and understood. Avoid questions that are vague. Rephrase the question if needed.
Do not ask many questions at once. If you do, the participants may not know which one to answer.
Give the participants time to think. A pause of silence is OK. If no one answers after 15 seconds, rephrase the question.
As discussed above, ask open ended questions – e.g. questions that start with “why,” “how,” or “what”. Avoid leading questions and “yes or no” questions.
When you ask a question, think about the purpose and objective of the session. Does the question bring you closer to what you want to achieve?
Do not interrupt when the participant is answering your question. Even if you want to comment on his answer, wait for him to finish what he has to say.
Demonstrate your interest in all the participants’ contributions. Use active listening skills when listening to the answers. You can nod, keep eye contact, etc.
Thank the participants for their contributions, encourage and praise active participation in the discussion.
To facilitate the discussion, after a participant answered your question, ask the others what they think. Encourage a discussion.

Seating arrangements is also important, so to prevent the feeling of exclusion and hierarchy.

Seating Arrangement- Group circle

It is important that all group members feel included and can actively participate on equal terms with others. To this end, it is important to consider the sitting arrangement of the group.

Sitting in rows, with the facilitator behind the desk facing the participants, creates a sense of hierarchy. In such arrangement the group members don’t see each other comfortably and some see other people’s backs rather than their faces.

To ensure more meaningful engagement, it is helpful to arrange sitting in a circle. Sitting in a circle ensures that everyone takes an equal part in the group, everyone can see and hear each other, there is no hierarchy, and everyone belongs in the group.

Sitting in a circle demonstrates that the participants’ voices and opinions are important and valued. It creates a sense of community and connection, and therefore encourages active and meaningful participation.