Challenges

Introduction to Challenges

When facilitation group discussion on VAWG with men, numerous challenges might arise.

This section will provide techniques that you as a facilitator can utilise to overcome such challenges

Techniques for Dealing with Challenging Moments

Facilitators will face many challenging moments as they encourage reflection on attitudes, beliefs and actions related to VAWG.

Facilitating these moments well, creates an environment where participants have opportunities to learn, reflect and change.

Facilitators should NOT IGNORE harmful comments that seek to justify the use of violence or place blame on survivors.

The purpose of addressing these challenges is not to immediately convince the participant to change his mind. It is unlikely for that to happen. But by using the steps below, the facilitator provides a different point of view that the participant may consider and hopefully adopt later.

Using the steps below, the facilitator also demonstrates accountability to women and girls and models men challenging other men about VAWG.

5 Steps for addressing challenging moments

STEP 1: Ask for clarification / Learn why they have that opinion

Summarise back to participant their statement or comment
Identify to yourself which of the “Common Resistance Reactions” is being expressed by the harmful statement or action

“Thank you for sharing your opinion with us. Can you tell us why you feel that way?
“So, it sounds like you are saying...is that correct?”

STEP 2: Seek an alternative opinion / Involve Others

Send the question back to the group using an open method. For example:

“What do the rest of you think of that phrase (or this attitude)?”
“To me that sentence sounds like victim-blaming. What do the rest of
you think?”

STEP 3: If nobody offers an alternative opinion, provide one.

“I know that a lot of people would never agree with that statement. Many of the men and women I know feel that the rapist is the only person to blame for a rape and that we all have a responsibility to respect other people’s right to say “no” to sexual activity.”

STEP 4: Connect back to the intervention

Remember that these views and harmful beliefs are the reason this intervention exists. When a harmful comment is expressed, use it as an opportunity to reinforce the key concepts within the curriculum. For example:

“How do you think this idea come about? Who taught us these ideas?”
“How does this idea relate to what we are taught about being a man and what we have been taught about women?”
“How does this idea reinforce power and privilege of men?”
“Are these ideas harmful to the safety of women and girls?”

STEP 5: Offer facts that support a different point of view and emphasise a helpful perspective.

Sometimes there are laws that can support a position, but the law may not be recognised within the country or community. If you are going to reference a law, please ensure it is recognised in the community.
“The law says that every person has a right to say “no” to sex, and the rapist is the only person to be blamed. I agree with this and as a man, I think it is important that we respect a woman’s choice to have sex with who and when she wants to. It does not matter what a woman wears or does, she has the right not to be raped.”